


Read My Lips

by m0usielous1e



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Deaf Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 11:55:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14056467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m0usielous1e/pseuds/m0usielous1e
Summary: Daryl Dixon has been deaf since he was a boy. Jesus knew this and, luckily, sign language. Missed the memo on the lip-reading though.





	Read My Lips

When it first happens, Daryl thinks it may have been an accident.

They have been hanging out together for a while. Or rather, Daryl would be working on something—his bike, their weapons, repairs around the community—and Jesus would show up to “help” him. Mostly just to stare at Daryl when he thinks the other man isn’t looking. But that’s okay, because Daryl does it too. How can he not when Paul “Jesus” Rovia is so, well, damn good-looking?

The moment they first met still stands out in Daryl’s mind, because he froze, struck dumb at the sight of those eyes. Thankfully, Rick maybe had not noticed? He likes to think that Rick hadn’t and really was just playing around later that day when he swerved to let Jesus fall into him. The alternative is…frankly terrifying to contemplate.

So, they hang out together whenever Jesus shows up at Alexandria to talk at Daryl, as if he doesn’t know that the other man is deaf and that he can read lips very well. Or maybe Jesus really doesn’t because that’s the only explanation for why he would say “I love you” in Daryl’s direction before running off that one time.

And then it happens again. 

The thing is, Daryl has been deaf since he was nine years old and the combination of a bad beating and an infection that spawned a terrible fever and three weeks in the ICU silenced the world. He remembers waking up that first day after they brought him out of the coma like he was still dreaming, his head tight, his ears stuffed up but Merle smiling down at him. Merle had said something, Daryl saw his brother’s lips move, but no sound had come out. He asked him for a repeat but when he did and the same thing happened again, Merle stopped smiling.

It got pretty bad at home between his father and Merle after that. Merle disappeared a lot too, but every time he came back there was usually a book about deafness at the foot of Daryl’s bed. The second thing Daryl learned was American Sign Language, which was fun to incorporate with the military and hunting signs his brother had taught him since he was a baby. The first was how to read lips. 

This idiot that called himself Jesus was not a bad guy but he clearly missed the memo about the lip-reading. Or maybe he knew and had forgotten. It had sure tripped up his family a lot in the beginning, when they met at the quarry outside of Atlanta.

Daryl did not blame them too much for that though because they were all strangers and he and Merle were rough-looking and kept to themselves. The kids, especially Carl picked up the signs so fast, he was the first person to talk to Daryl when Merle or Shane, the asshole, weren’t around. And then Rick showed up.

How much does Daryl love the man who he has come to consider his brother? In too many ways to count, including one that does not matter anymore because the other man has Michonne now and Daryl has long accepted that it isn’t going to happen between them. Jesus is still too new to the group. He does not know all their secrets and histories and experiences and Daryl is the last person to share them, even if Jesus knows sign language. Which, of course he does, learned it from one of the many books scattered about his trailer. But he does not know about the lip-reading. And yet, “I love you.”

Daryl briefly considers asking Jesus about it the next time they meet, as he tries to build Judith a “big girl bed”. But that meeting is cut short by Rick with a message for Maggie and Jesus leaves with his back to Daryl.

The third time it happens, they are drinking together on the back porch of Rick’s house watching the shadows lengthen with twilight. This is Daryl’s favorite time of day, no longer ominous as it might have been in his childhood or After, on the road. In the relative safety of Alexandria, it is just another sunset on an ancient world. The setting sun lights the pale blue sky ablaze in gold, orange and red. Birds and small animals scurry and hop into their hiding places for the night, ever wary of the things that hunted them long before the dead humans started walking again. One day when Daryl has gone back to the dirt that formed him, he will feed the trees that give them food and shelter.

Jesus joins him less than five minutes after he settles down, and, as usual, almost immediately starts talking. Daryl guesses that the guy can’t help himself.

He had not talked a lot, at first. Stared at everything and everyone, particularly Daryl and Daryl’s arms. Kept to himself more than anything. Then Negan happened and Jesus and Maggie became best friends, or Daryl assumed as much when the other man brought him to Hilltop from the Sanctuary. That was when the talking at Daryl started and it did not stop.

Through the tragedies and plotting and twists and turns of war that followed, Jesus talked to Daryl whenever they were alone together. In that way, Daryl learned about Jesus losing his parents when he was quite young, about the group home, the bullying, the anger, and then the escape and power that came with martial arts. He learned about when Jesus realized that he was gay, about boyfriends and breakups, about angry days that gave way to wild nights at clubs that led to a stint on the underground MMA circuit. But that was a good thing because it helped Jesus meet his old martial arts instructor and get a teaching job that he had only just started when the world ended.

After the second time that Jesus started hanging around Daryl and talking at him, Daryl put him to work. They rebuilt the walls at Alexandria while Jesus recounted his early days before the war, nearly starving to death on his trek to the Hilltop. Daryl practically dragged Jesus out of the community the next day to teach him to hunt, terrified to his bones that the younger man had not picked up any useful skills since. As they set up baby Herschel’s nursery, Jesus told Daryl about the first days at the Hilltop while they worked out the various roles they needed. Not for the first time, Daryl wondered how someone had not killed Gregory before Jesus ran into him and Rick at the gas station. If he trips up the old creep the next time he sees him, well, who would believe that Daryl would do something like that?

Daryl does not know when exactly Jesus began to share his private thoughts, bouncing ideas off of Daryl and only signing half of them. Daryl did his best to ignore that, a little confused as to why but then deciding that the other man was just working through his thoughts aloud and did not need advice. Daryl contemplated telling the other man off for that, but never got around to it. He liked to watch Jesus talk.

Daryl liked a lot of things about Jesus. The other man was kind, helpful, brave, determined, loyal to those who were good to him and the people he cared about, and ruthless to those who weren’t. He could be closed off at times, though never to Daryl, and he sometimes threatened to give Daryl a heart attack with his martial arts stunts against walkers, but he had survived this long for a reason. So, Daryl liked him, and if he was misreading a parting sentence—Jesus could have said something else after all, lip reading was not infallible—could he be blamed for not immediately seeking clarification?

Daryl and Jesus sit on the porch until it is pitch black out and the only light the glow of Daryl’s cigarette. Then Jesus stands to go and Daryl looks up at him and in the dim light sees the other man pause, unfathomable softness in his eyes and say, “I love you, Daryl. Have a good night.”

Daryl, sure now of the words he had read, says nothing back, too stunned to react, and Jesus smiles, a little sadness crinkling his eyes, and quietly leaves.

Daryl remains on the porch for another hour just trying to process. 

It happens every time they part after that, though only when they are alone. Jesus will pause just before he turns away and say the words, smile at Daryl’s apparent lack of comprehension and then leave. Daryl almost says something once, wanting to understand, but then…he likes Jesus. There were also so many reasons why they cannot work but he doesn’t want this to stop.

He surprises himself the day he signs “I love you” back.

One day when Jesus takes his leave in that way that is now his usual fashion, Daryl waits until the other man’s back is turned, raises his hand in a fist, palm out and extends his thumb, index and pinky. He cannot ignore the irony of this. This is the first sign he learned, showing off to Merle and trying to convey his gratitude and admiration for his older brother for the first time. His brother who would definitely not approve of to whom it was directed now. But Merle is long dead and Daryl is…old and tired and wants to respond to Jesus even if he has no courage to do it to the man’s face.

It very quickly becomes a thing. And then Rick finds out.

Daryl had not thought that anyone paid any attention to him and Jesus. Stupid really, since Rick has made it his personal mission on the day the two met and he’d learned that Daryl was deaf, to keep an eye on him always. Rick watches Daryl so closely, it is almost as if he can read his mind sometimes. So, Daryl cannot say he is truly surprised when Rick approaches him and asks, “What the hell is going on with you and Jesus?”

Daryl, making stew for dinner, pretends to not understand him. Rick tilts his head, smirking annoyingly and says, “I know you read that question. Come on. You know you can tell me. What’s with you two nowadays?”

Daryl forms an “o” under his chin and throws his hand out, five fingers extended. “Nothing.”

In his periphery, because his attention is definitely focused on his cooking, he sees Rick scoff. “Don’t try that with me. You two have been spending way too much time together. Do I need to visit him with a shovel?”

Daryl rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Then scoffs at himself and turns to Rick and signs “I need to figure this out myself.” He thumps his chest firmly with his thumb for emphasis.

Rick stares at him for a beat, exhales heavily and says, “You know, I gave Glenn advice.”

Daryl cannot hide his hot blush but replies, “I don’t need help.” He shakes his head firmly. There is another beat and then he points at the porch where he and Jesus have taken to sitting almost every time they are together, then spreads his palm over his chest, bringing together his middle finger and thumb, and ends by pointing to himself. “He likes me.”

Rick’s eyes widen in shock, brilliant blue in the soft light of the kitchen, eyebrows climbing his forehead to his hairline. Daryl is a little shocked himself at the confession, but soldiers on, shrugging as he signs “I like him too”. 

This time Rick blinks, then laughs, cheeks a little red, and asks, “So what’s the problem?”

“No problem,” Daryl signs back. “I just don’t know what to do.”

Rick’s smile widens and he says, “Ah, that’s easy. You can tell him. He’s not a bad guy and you already know he likes you. How do you know that, by the way?”

Daryl lifts his hands to begin signing the words and realizes that he can’t. Rick stares at him, eyebrow raised, until Daryl drops his gaze, blushing magenta. Rick lifts both eyebrows then, but finally takes pity on him and says, “If you already know that he likes you, then half the battle is over. Unless you’re not sure about how you feel? Is that the problem? That you don’t think you really feel the same?” There is a pause and Rick’s gaze hardens. “Or that you don’t think you’re good for him? Because I may be biased but I think he’s getting the better end of the deal here.”

Daryl rolls his eyes again. He does have that concern, yes, that he was saddling Jesus with a burden by reciprocating his feelings. The only reason that Daryl has survived this long in the After is largely due to others, though he has tried his best since he was a kid to rely only on himself. In the absence of hearing, he has learned to use his other senses as best he could, reading the signs around him in sometimes rather creative ways to avoid danger.

The smell of death is everywhere in the After, but walkers have a peculiar scent that he has long catalogued. Most people do not look at their feet when they walk, or up above, but Daryl had learned to hunt almost as soon as he could walk. When he lost his hearing, he had trained himself to hunt without it, looking for the signs that helped him find prey or evade his father without having to hear the drunk rambling switch to rage. Being with Rick and the group has given him many sets of ears to look out for danger but they are not always with him. One day his luck may run out. They have yet to meet another person with a disability alive and Herschel Greene never made it out of the prison.

He sees Rick scoff and then shift closer to throw an arm around his shoulder in a hug before he says, “The fact that you’re standing here with me, when so many others aren’t, says a lot about your strength. Yeah, some of it is luck, but not all of it is. Take a chance on this. Allow yourself to deserve something for once.”

Daryl exhales, embarrassed but also relieved. He can do this, maybe.

Rick ruins the moment by pulling his head down to kiss his cheek and say, “Look at you, all grown up with a crush.”

Daryl does not intend to push him into the stove but it happens. At least he doesn’t topple their dinner.

He does not see Jesus again for another fortnight. There is bad weather and considering his own work at Alexandria, Daryl assumes the other man is busy too. It does not stop him from looking anxiously towards the front gates at various times every day. During that time, Rick, and later Michonne—after she caught them one afternoon and laughed until there were tears running down her face—try to help Daryl come up with suitable flirty lines to use on Jesus, icebreakers to get them in the right mood for an important conversation. 

It’s Rick’s idea, and since he was married before and is with Michonne, Daryl thought he would have expert advice. Two minutes and Michonne’s amusement quickly disabuses him of that notion.

By the morning they receive word from Maggie that Jesus is on his way, Daryl has a list of increasingly flirty things to tell the scout. Of course, he forgets all of them the moment Jesus sidles up to him on the watchtower and starts talking again.

“Hello, how are you today?” he greets, smiling broadly at Daryl. 

Daryl, trying his best to be casual, replies, “Great.” The “now that you’re here” that Rick suggested is immediately abandoned. He can’t do it. It’s too silly.

Jesus, unaware, leans against the railing and looks out at the sea of spike-laden cars that line the road to the ASZ and signs, “Have not seen you on watch for a while.”

Again, an opportunity to say something flirty to start the conversation. Perhaps “I heard that there was trouble coming and guessed it was you” or something like that. Not that though. That was bad. Instead, he replies, “Eyes work fine.”

Jesus’ face flushes pink and says, “I meant…never-mind that. Been here long?”

Daryl lifts an eyebrow. Jesus knows the watch shifts at Alexandria, the Hilltop, Oceanside and the Sanctuary like the back of his hand. Again, Jesus flushes and this time ducks his head and mutters something that Daryl doesn’t catch. He decides to throw him a bone. The point of this is Daryl reciprocating feelings after all.

He taps Jesus on the shoulder and when the other man looks up, first stopping to look at the hand on his shoulder, Daryl signs, “How long are you here for?”

Jesus smiles warmly, though his cheeks are still pink, and signs as he says, “Maggie let me stay overnight. She said that she was tired of me. That was rude. I thought we were friends.”

Daryl offers him a smile and replies, “We can hang out later. I’ve got babysitting duty.”

Jesus’ eyes widen, then his gaze goes distant for a moment before he gives himself a shake and says, “Yes. Let’s do that. See you later.”

He pats Daryl on the shoulder before he heading down, touch lingering for a few beats. Daryl waits until the other man is out of sight to exhale. This is not as painful as he expected. He can do this. 

His watch shift is blessedly uneventful and when he climbs down to go home at last, he’s greeted by Aaron. The other man has moved back to Alexandria after the war, insisting that he cannot leave the house that he and Eric had lived in, and has brought Gracie with him. The baby is a toddler now, growing with Judith like sisters.

Aaron hands her over to Daryl and says, “Thanks again, for doing this. I love her but I need a break.”

Daryl nods and nuzzles the girl in his arms until she giggles. He loves the vibration of her laughter against his face. He waves Aaron off, lets her do the same, and heads off to Rick and Michonne’s house with her. She does not yet understand that Daryl cannot hear her, but Judith has been doing a great job of showing her the signs and to look at him when she speaks. Somehow, Gracie has turned this into forcing him to look at her, so they spend the short walk from the front gates with his face in her hands as she recites her day.

Judith, and Jesus, greet him at the door, Rick and Michonne nowhere in sight. 

“Uncle Paul is here!” Judith greets without signing.

Daryl smiles down at her, but with his hands full he can’t sign back. He does not like to do it. He hasn’t heard his own voice since he was a boy, and has no idea how it sounds, or how loud, but he opens his mouth and says, “I see that.”

Paul snaps his gaze up at Daryl. In the periphery of his vision, Daryl can see the other man’s reddening cheeks. It’s not shock, he’s heard Daryl speak from time to time, even teased him once about having a smoker’s rasp, whatever that was. Daryl ignores Paul to get Judith into the house and sets Gracie down once they’re inside. Paul closes the door behind them, but instead of stopping to talk as Daryl expects him to, he takes Judith and Gracie by hand and lead them back to the living room.

Jesus and Judith, or maybe Rick and Michonne had been playing a board game before he arrived. Daryl looks over the board, then taps Judith on the arm to get her attention. When she turns to him, Daryl makes to sign at her but Jesus takes hold of his hands and says, “Oh no you don’t. She was beating me fair and square before you got here. She doesn’t need any help.”

Daryl looks down to Judith with a proud smirk, as she beams up at him, before he realizes that Jesus had not signed the words to him. He looks back at the other man and then notices that the hands around his are shaking slightly. But Jesus does not look scared, rather profoundly embarrassed. He releases Daryl’s hands and says, “I should have guessed that you can read lips, I mean even if you weren’t deaf you’re Daryl Dixon, but not everyone’s good at it and I didn’t want to assume.”

Daryl looks down at the little girls. Judith is trying to explain the game to Gracie, but the younger girl is more interested in the pieces. He can feel Jesus’ gaze on him. He looks back at him and signs, “You never asked.”

Jesus’ face flushes darker and he asks, “You understood everything I said?”

Daryl glances down at the girls again. They are still engrossed in the game. This is hardly the place or the time but he wants his feelings known. He signs at Jesus, “I love you too.”

Jesus pales. The last reaction that Daryl was expecting. But then Judith tugs on his jeans to draw his attention and, panicking, he drops to his knees beside her. “We’re ready to play, Uncle Daryl,” she says.

After a few tense moments, where Daryl tries to play it cool, Jesus joins them. Daryl can’t look at him. Jesus has been telling him that he loves him for weeks now so he can’t imagine what has gone wrong.

But then Jesus slides his hand across the table and takes hold of Daryl’s. He looks over to the other man, surprised, but Jesus is smiling, and he says, “Thank you…just thank you.”

Daryl does not know what to say to that, so he says nothing. Jesus, still smiling, leans forward and places a quick, chaste kiss on his lips. Daryl’s eyes are still open, so he sees Judith squeal and quickly cover Gracie’s eyes. He waves her off, then hooks a finger into Jesus’ collar as he pulls back and draws him in for another proper kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a tumblr post headcanon by Kdoggt about deaf Daryl and I hope I did it some justice. Deafness is a spectrum and not everyone can read lips. Also, there are tons of videos on American Sign Language on YouTube, definitely check them out. Apologies if I've made a thorough mess of my portrayal.


End file.
